i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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