good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
