Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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