Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize