just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
