she was so not down for the gang bang
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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