We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
This house was built for laser tag.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
