Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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