i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
