is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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