Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
