Buhtt sex?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
