dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
