you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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