He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
