I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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