I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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