Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I CAN MOONWALK!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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