did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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