we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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