I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I made him laugh his dick is mine
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
