do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
