i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
