somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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