my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
