Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
