I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
