pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
