He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
