we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
