Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
