not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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