This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
