how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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