Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize