y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Randomize
