ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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