That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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