Having a random hookup so left but love u
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
