Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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