She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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