if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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