you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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