Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
