If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
