I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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