I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
