If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
