so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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