Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
