I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
