Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
