how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize