it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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