Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
