Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I still have a little drunk in my system
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
