Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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