they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My penis needs a shock collar
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
