woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
